he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
