Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
