You really coming over, don't trick.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
