I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
