I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
