So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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