its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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