My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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