I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
