Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
