PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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