Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
