Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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