I cockslap morals
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Found your dick twin last night
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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