They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
