so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize