im drinking this country out of the recession.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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