I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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