He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
