Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
