In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
