just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
