No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
