Midget sex pt 2 tonight
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The adults are the big ones right?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
