i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
