she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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