The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
