Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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