butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Randomize
