it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize