loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
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