he wants to bone in the snuggie
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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