If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
