Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
In other news, I just burned my penis
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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