Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
thus making me awesome and them whores
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
