it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
