These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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