i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
