16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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