first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize