I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Actions speak louder than pants.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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