There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
