I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
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