it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
