I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Randomize
