I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Someone shit on the floor
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
