Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
