Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
