I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
