Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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