I want to make a zoo with you.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
