There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize