But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Just high enough for therapy.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
