My liver just broke up with me...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
