she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
