My brain says no but my pants say off.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
