Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
