He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
