If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I understand Curling. That high.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
foreskin is a definite game changer
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
