The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize