I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
