I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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