tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
How does it feel to date your dad?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
