her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
