so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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