You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
