2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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