I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
