I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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