I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
